![]() ![]() Lee works with a set of older siblings, for example, who always fought over who could sit in the front passenger seat of the car. If there’s a constant source of conflict, making a plan can help ease the tension. And, of course, they should alert an adult if a sibling gets violent. Or if a younger sibling is always knocking down structures, for example, the parent can coach the older sibling to go in a separate room to build, or to build structures specifically for the other to destruct.Īlso, parents can make clear that there’s a difference between running to a parent every time there’s the slightest disagreement and seeking help to resolve an issue. For example, you might let your child know that if her sibling hits her or snatches a toy she should come and calmly let you know rather than retaliating. Another thing that parents can do ahead of time is to coach the kids - often the older sibling, in particular - on how to respond in a productive way rather than escalating a conflict. Of course, even with all the positive reinforcement in the world, siblings will still fight. Here are some things parents can do to help keep the peace in the home. Learning to healthily navigate conflicts with siblings can teach kids about things like taking turns, sharing, body autonomy, when to turn to an adult, and using words rather than physical force to solve a problem. If parents see these things as opportunities to teach, that can be really positive,” says Dr. While sibling squabbles can certainly be stressful, “having siblings gives kids good practice for social skills that they need in the real world. ![]() Fortunately, Stephanie Lee, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, says there is a bright side. Who wouldn’t get irritated in that situation, at least once in a while?īut what’s a parent to do when things escalate and it seems like the kids are fighting constantly? It can make the home feel like a battlefield, and the adults more like peace negotiators than parents. Inevitably, they are competing for limited attention and resources. And it’s certainly understandable - they’re forced to live under the same roof and spend much of their free time together. And you can also support each sibling by making sure they get plenty of attention and one-on-one time with you - which is often what they’re really trying to get when they fight.Īnyone with more than one child knows that even siblings who are the best of friends can still get on each other’s nerves. When a sibling has special needs, it can be especially difficult for their siblings. Tell a story about a time that things weren’t fair for you and how you handled it. For example, older kids may get to stay up later than younger ones. Life throws curveballs and sometimes it just isn’t fair. Lastly, help kids let go of the notion of fairness. You can also encourage them to report the kind things that their siblings do, like sharing a new toy. When you see your kids playing together cooperatively, or calmly following the rules they agreed to, praise them for it. Maybe your kids can trade off who rides in the front seat, or agree to swap a favorite toy after a timer set for 15 minutes goes off. Instead, come tell me right away.” Setting rules ahead of time helps too. Coach kids on how to respond when conflict starts: “If she hits you, please don’t hit her back. Let them know that while you know they can solve small disagreements alone, you’re always there for bigger issues. Then, you can lay the groundwork for more positive behavior. Figuring out the root cause helps you get ahead of conflict. Maybe they always fight over toys, but the fights tend to happen when they’re looking for attention. Start by looking for patterns in your children’s conflicts. But if your children are constantly fighting, there are ways you can help keep the peace. It’s normal for siblings to annoy each other, and resolving conflict helps them practice important social skills. Even siblings who are best friends fight sometimes. ![]()
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